Kopparberg Pear Cider

Koppaberg Pear Cider

It was dark in there and I was sitting front row, so...

This weekend I saw The Bither Brothers Band play at The Bitter End in NYC….PAUSE –  I can’t even get through the description of this lovely night without a grimace on my face as I remember the taste of this god awful cider.

I know I sound like a hater, but if you’ve followed this blog at all you may have been skeptical of my honesty up until now. I know what I like (and let’s face it, there isn’t much that I don’t like) so I know what to order and how to order it; what to cook and how to cook it (most of the time).

Because of my keen sense of awareness of my taste, I rarely blunder in ordering, leaving all of the blundering up to the establishments – which just hasn’t happened to me all that often.

So, I’m not a hater, I’m just being honest. And no, “god awful” is not too strong of a phrase. None of my friends who tried Kopparberg Cider were able to swallow it with a straight face (TWSS).

Back to the story: we’re having a grand ol’ time at The Bitter End listening to The Bither Brothers  (Lady Gaga played here back in the day) and I’ve already enjoyed a few libations. BUT now I am looking to try something new; you’re surprised, I know.

I mosey on over to the bar, take a look at the scribbled list (just how I like it) and I see “Kapp???? Pear Cider.” I couldn’t quite make out the name, but I love me some cider! And pear – even over apple – happens to be my favorite.

the bither brothers band

Michael

The Bither Brothers Band

Patrick

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am immediately mentally (and possibly emotionally) taken back to my alma mater to a local bar and restaurant, HomeGrown where I would frequently order – and even recommend – the oh-so-delicious Ace Pear Cider . My mouth starts to water  (then and now as I write this) and I’m pumped for my cider.

I am given my receipt, the bottle and… a glass of ice?! I was so befuddled that I’m sure I hesitated, but I chalked it up to the bartender’s ignorance of cider. It’s not all that common so I wasn’t holding it against her.

Leaving it up the “expert” I poured some cider over the ice and took a nice, long sip. BLECH! What the F**** is this?!

It is super duper, crazy-over-the-top sweet, syrupy, watery (I know, that sounds contradictory – think watered down syrup) barely carbonated and bland all at the same time.

I said to myself, “okay, maybe it’s this weird glass-of-ice-thing,” and took another big swig right from the bottle: EQUALLY BLECH.

It didn’t taste terrrrrrible in that it wasn’t expired, it didn’t smell bad, it wasn’t thick or even flavorful at all. For that reason, and the fact that it set me back almost eight big ones, I finished it. But not without a grimace on my face.

It wasn’t good. To confirm my thoughts I passed that puppy around the table..

You know, the oh-so-strangely-common “This is gross! Wanna taste it?!” thing…

(Why do we ask that? And why do so many people say “yes”?)

I got the same review from every. single. person. A grimace.

I do not recommend, under any circumstances, that you try this cider. Not if you are a fan of cider. Not if you aren’t a fan of cider. Not if you are the cider expert of the world and… okay, maybe then. Otherwise: STAY AWAY.

I know that this seems like a very strong opinion. And you’re right. And although I’m sure someone somewhere likes this – they do continue to sell it and they do carry it is bars (apparently) – so maybe there is some kind of “acquired taste.” However, for those of you who like Strongbow, Ace or even Woodchuck’s – you’re not going to like this. It tastes absolutely nothing like it’s highly superior counterparts.

Have you ever tried hard cider? What’s your favorite brand?

Apple or Pear?

Ever have an equally surprisingly displeasing experience after ordering a drink? I’d love to hear about it!

Sorry, Kopparberg. I SEO’d the shit out you and your god awful cider. Hopefully for you your SEO is strong and Google won’t index this blog on your first page… Oh look, it’s actually on page one. Whoops.